Jan 24 2012

‘FEEL THE BURN…. FEELING THE BURN!’

Well today’s work out was harder than any other day so far. I am trying to think of the reasons, but nonetheless kept my focus at my gym, LA Fitness.

Yes another round of cardio before you ask, wanting to burn the calories. I am pleased another work out that exceeded the 700 calories milestone which I intend to at least achieve in an hours work out, if not exceed.

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Alongside this I am on a low fat diet. Cutting out the high carbs and high fat products, and instead selecting lean meats such as turkey breast and salad. Though today I have a low calorie chicken salad sandwich from Tesco, a bottle of diet coca-cola ( which will have to go) and a packet of skips (perhaps with hindsight shouldn’t have had). Breakfast was All Bran cereal, an orange juice and some fruit. Morning snack being a low fat rice cake. Plenty of water and then a banana in the afternoon, I am finding I am not craving high sugar based foods such as a chocolate bar, and even turned down chocolate biscuits in a meeting I was in this afternoon (in previous weeks I would have tucked right in, but neither wished not desired them – which I am very happy about. I attribute this to (a) my focus on wanting to lose the fat, and (b) just not craving such foods, wanting fruit or a hot drink instead such as plain tea or a black coffee.)

I am also taking multi vitamins and a supplement from Holland and Barrett Fat Metaboliser. So any views and thoughts on that, or more general suggestions to aid me, please let me know.

February I know I need to start adding weight training in. So that will supplement and not replace my existing cardio as I dont want to give the cardio up.

The impact of exercise: the positive things are feeling more energised, more awake, that feel good factor and finding that I sleep better (albeit I may need to change my mattress in the future as its not the most comfortable one on the planet.)

So my advice, borrowing from the Nike motto, ‘Just Do It’. If you want to lose weight, no point siting in front of the tv watching programmes about others losing weight. You need to get up of te sofa and exercise. Feel that burn, feel the achievement afterwards and enjoy your increases metabolic rate, not to mention the feel good factor!

N.B. going to be brave tomorrow, tomorrow will be designated weigh in day once a week to monitor things. And, me being me, I will post here: (a) to provide a record to me and (b) to show others what can be achieved with a bit of determination and exercise.

For now, thanks for reading. Hope I didn’t bore you.

Yours

BENJAMIN

Jan 22 2012

‘HAYWIRE’ – A Film Review

What a most awful film. Atrocious is only one adjective to describe this film. The acting for the most part was boring and average, the sound track throughout mediocre, and the story line…hmm well I am lost for words, dismal is one way to describe it.

So if you want to have an enjoyable night watching a film, then I can recommend plenty of others such as ‘War Horse’. Or in the alternate, you would get more pleasure sticking knitting needles into your eye.

On that note, enough said. Probably the worst film I have seen this year. I feel as if I have lost valuable time in my life that I will never get back. This film is off the scale in the most worst way possible.

Jan 22 2012

‘War Horse’ – A Film Review

What to say? My hats off to Spielberg for pulling this off, turning this theatre classic into a fantastic motion film.

Typical Spielberg style, is a bit long. But that isn’t a complaint, nor grumble as such, as lets face it, we expect such films from Spielberg. Taking sometime out there and making it his own. The story was told in such an emotional and charismatic manner, touching your heart and leaving you with that huge sense of pride at the end (which I have to admit, even put a tear in my eye).

I have to congratulate the horse whisperer in this case, whatever they did with the horse clearly worked. The actors were all hot, and have to admit the leading star was gorgeous, not to mention the blonde German guy that pulled his brother out of his march to the trenches. Just such a shame try were shot so early on in the film, as he was hot!

Overall, fantastic film, would love to see it again. Emotive, enjoyable and will leave your heart warmed for watching the movie.

Dec 27 2011

“MY NEW YEAR’S MESSAGE – THE END OF 2011, THE DAWN OF 2012!”

Time is an interesting thing.  One minute you think you have plenty ahead of you, and then bang another day, week, month and even year has gone!  And what do you end up asking yourself: “were did it all go?”

Yes…2012 is on the imminent horizon and it has made me realise even more so than ever, the amount of time I have wasted on things that are insignificant and time that I have failed to spend more wisely.  This has most recently been drawn to my attention by my second eldest brother.  “So what things should I have spent more time on?” I hear you say.  Well these can be listed very briefly in 5 words: ‘exercise, socialize, family and friends’.

So as 2011 comes to a close, I do that annual thing of reviewing my life (whether this is a good thing, bad thing and a complete waste of time I am not sure.  Hindsight no doubt will provide the answer!)  So only several days away from 2012, I am trying my best not to be one of those that come up with unobtainable and insurmountable targets for the new year ahead, such as: win the Euromillions (I don’t do the lottery), become the hottest guy in the universe, to only drink water and not let alcohol pass thy lips (or any soft drink for that matter).  I mean… come on… this is me we are talking about – I have to live within my limitations!

Looking back, I have achieved quite a lot in the past year (despite the ‘unobtainable targets’).  I have a job that I am enthusiastic about, and whereby I desire to help others (whether I am able to do so, or not, is another question and will leave that for others to decide).  I have maintained the valuable friendships that I have made over the years, and in many ways enhanced them.  I have spent more time with my family than in previous years since moving down to London.

So after achieving quite a bit, you might question were I will go with my aims for the year ahead of us?  Well, no doubt you have been in the same position as me at some point in your life, in which you have asked yourself questions such as: ‘what’s the meaning of life?’; ‘surely, there has to be more to life than this?’; ‘what is my purpose in life?’ Well in raising such questions I have discovered one vital thing:  It is simply pointless to raise such empty, worthless questions that are framed in such abstract terms, as it achieves nothing, solves nothing and in many ways only raises even more questions about ones self worth (and thus the perpetual cycle begins!)

So looking on the ‘bright side of life’ (to borrow the words of a song most of us learnt during childhood), the purpose in life (in my viewpoint) is TIME (no, not the magazine!), and in turn, to make the most of it.  So that is my aim for the next year.  To make time for those I cherish and value in my life.  To make time to appreciate the things that I do have, rather than look at the things I have not.  To make time to learn, discover and open my eyes to the possibilities before me.  As they say, time is of the essence, so I am going to make 2012 about making the most of it.  Time is there for everyone, for some it is short lived and others long, but time will always outlive us, for that is its nature! So remember that, if nothing else.

To come to a concluding point then, not to mention to save boring you further to death, I want to do two things:

(1)  bid you a HAPPY NEW YEAR when 2012 arrives.  I hope it brings you much happiness, joy, love and prosperity; and

(2)  leave you with the words of Louis Hector Berlioz:

‘Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.’

Yours,

BENJAMIN

P.S. Thanks for reading the blog!

Dec 13 2011

“AND SO THE BLAME GAME BEGINS – EUROPEAN TIT FOR TAT”

It all appears to be the start of a blaming game. The pro-Europeans making out that David Cameron has committed a mortal sin by vetoing the change to the EU Treaty, and those anti, heralding the dawn of a big pat on the back for him. Jose Manuel Barroso (European Commission President) saying the protection Cameron requested “would have undermined rules governing EU’ common market”. Nick Clegg is apparently unhappy with the outcome, worried that we have now become ‘isolated’. But ultimately, in the words of Jan Zabradil, Cameron just came to the “defence of his country’s national interests.” And yes, that is all he did. He stood up and said “NO”, when many may not have done so. Since that point, the blaming game, alongside it’s partner – tit for tat commenced, and has embroiled the media ever since. But, nonetheless, in the words of Lord Ashdown, it was a “matter for the Prime Minister”, yet Cameron now appears to be vilified by it (by some), in other words a ‘scape goat!’

To become a scape goat is wholly wrong. Cameron wasn’t to blame for the financial debacle we are now in. To draw it down to this would be a misnomer, for the causes are more complex than this. He is merely dealing with the fall out that is on us. The issue here is one for the Member States that have the Euro currency to tackle. I mean, we don’t ask them to solve any currency issues we may have with the Pound, and if they did, it wouldn’t be right, it would undermine our sovereignty. Hillary Clinton has summarised it aptly:
“Our concern is not over the position that the UK has taken, it’s whether the decision made by the other member of the eurozone countries within the European Union will work.”

At first glance, it would appear that the blatant answer is “No, it hasn’t worked”, but to do so may be slightly premature to say. Let’s see how things play out over the next weeks or so. But no one can deny, the markets are unsettled and damagingly wavering. The blame game is merely a distraction and an unwelcomed one at that! Don’t you think it is a waste of time and counterproductive? This time is precious and needs to be spent wisely, dealing with the crisis, and saying “by March” is not good enough!

So, what needs to be done? The answer is glaringly obvious: the Member States in agreement have to settle down to the nitty-gritty, day and night, and finalise their unified solution. For ultimately, failure is not an option, as it will lead to another downward spiral, and how much more we can take is strongly debatable. If they fail, it will reflect badly on them, and could lead to the fall of the Euro currency. Cameron’s name may crop up along the way, but nonetheless, it would be them and not us (to continue the blaming game! hahaha)

The situation would be a lot different had Britain’s currency been the Euro. If it had then the stance taken by Cameron could have been grave, but alas it isn’t the case. For us now to go back to Europe with our begging bowls for forgiveness (like the media portray Clegg as wanting) would be an embarrassment and unnecessary. A decision has been made and we all have to move on and not live in the past, as it has been an gone, whereas the financial crisis has not.

So please, please, please, Europe get your priorities right, and get your act together! By all means, in a comfortable position in the future let the historians debate this day, but don’t start it now, as we aren’t history, we are present!

Dec 12 2011

“WE HAVE ALL JUST BECOME A BALANCE SHEET, WITH THE MOST IN NEED OVERLOOKED!”

No doubt many of you will argue that I am wrong, and perhaps you would have a point – I am willing to listen to your take on things. But nonetheless, the individual seems to have been lost in a storm – a financial storm that there does not appear to be a clear way out of.

In my opinion, we have all just become a balance sheet. People, as individuals, their talents, gifts and qualities seem to be overlooked and superseded by balance sheets, namely, how much money or debt do you have against your name. You only need to turn the tv on, watch the news, go on the Internet, stand outside Canary Wharf Underground Station, and it’s surrounds you, this overwhelming doom, gloom and negative news. If its not Europe, it’s profit warnings from companies, and if not this, budget cuts and unemployment rates. Those who are out of work are worried about when they will be employed again, and were next months rent or mortgage payments will come from, and those in work, are worried about losing their job and the negative impacts that will ensue.

Some people are like Greece, credit worthiness gone. Whilst others are in a stronger position like China, yet are contingent on others to be able to continue to profit and make money.

Yes we have had X-Factor, so you might argue that the individual hasn’t been lost, completely, but how insignificant is it, compared to everything else that is reported on the news? We all seem obsessed with arbitrary figures, that if you meet or exceed it, your considered sound and worthy, and those below it confined to the scrap heap.

Against this background, let’s assess David Cameron’s decide to veto a Treaty change. Did he do right or wrong? I am sure you all have your own opinion. Mine is, his hands were tied, he had no choice, and at least he had the will to stand up and say ‘no, I have to look after my people’s interests’. In such times, we cannot afford to be continually embroiled with the Euro crisis that is rapidly unfolding. Those that are signed up to the Euro currency, should be the ones to save it. We have to ensure that we have the autonomy to protect our own sources of GDP revenue. As pointed out by Craig last week, in a note on my blog on Bankers, the financial sector accounts for more than 30% of the UK’s GDP. That can’t be gambled away. So perhaps we haven’t lost sight of the individual, perhaps the stance taken there was to show that we, the people that the Government represents do care.

Nevertheless, people are being forgotten about, and especially those that need the most help. At one time, it was forever “Education! Education! Education!” The future seemed bright, invest in the future. Now the future seems to have been lost, its all about cuts, and ‘how far can we go, what are the maximum rates of cuts we can make that would be socially acceptable?’. There is talk of we are all sharing the pain, but who really is feeling pain? How do you quantify it? Is it say, the loss of buying another luxury car or holiday? Or it it, doing without food, turning the heating down being cold, making do an mend? Those that fall into the latter group are the ones that we should be focusing on. Yes, we all have a duty to share the burden, but let’s face it there are those who can afford to more than others. The individuals that need most, are often overlooked and pooled into a more generalised group e.g. 2.62 million unemployed, whilst those in the upper echelons of society are being wined, dined and entertained, and being reported by the ‘Hello’ and ‘Ok’ magazines as having been here, there and everywhere?

What I am really driving at is which balance sheet should we be looking at? Yes we need to look at the deficit, for indeed it is an important balance sheet, but at the same time, we have to look at the other balance sheet, the one full of people that need help and who can cut no more. Let’s share the burden, and share it more evenly, and lets see an increase in philanthropy. Together, yes we can get through it, but those that can give more should. Even if you don’t get financial gain from it in the future, it will be good for the soul.

Dec 8 2011

“GAY RIGHTS MATTER AND MORE IMPORTANTLY THOSE OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY”

Gay rights are a global issue and transgresses every nation, and therefore should be treated with the importance that this subject matter deserves. For we do matter! Here I am not confining my discussion to gay men only, but the lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgendered (LGBT) Community as a whole.

In an age were a lot has been done to protect other groups and minorities, this is a community that still needs considerable work on. Our voice does matter, and needs to be heard! Our human rights are integral and important. Our position in society, and the valuable contribution to society as a whole needs to be noted, engaged and acted on. Most importantly, our status cannot go unnoticed unless you want a global society that is negatively impeded, and one that will forever remain underdeveloped – lost in the realms of prejudice.

So where do we start? That is one of the central questions. Just like Rome was not built in a day, we cannot be deluded that LGBT equality can be tackled overnight. It is going to take time, a lot of thought and debate, not to mention perseverance. At the epicentre of all this, is to address those groups, organisations and individuals that seek to thwart the development and integration of the LGBT Community into society. Here I am not talking solely about the ‘western world’, but all nations. This was recently stressed by Hillary Clinton in her address to the UN on “Free & Equal in Dignity and Rights” Speech, 2011. Paramount in her address was for the LGBT Community to be embraced and for those that act on prejudice to hold their tongues and not act in their personally held beliefs, when it negatively and destructively impacts on the right and recognition of others. Ultimately, it is a global phenomenon that has to be addressed head on, and is not a ‘western’ only issue – for we all have a part to play!

So to start we need recognition, along with acceptance of who and what we are. People once considered slavery acceptable, and thankfully now consider it it horrific and inhumane. This has to be applied to the prejudice and attacks on those that make up the LGBT Community. We all eat, we all breath and we all bleed. We all speak, go to bed, dream and have nightmares. We just have to make sure those nightmares don’t materialise and become real. A LGBT person does not differ from others in one general sense, and that is, we are all human! So once everyone accepts this generalised and real status, we can then positively move on. So, let’s start with this general classification and then progress from there, in a constructive and non destructive manner.

As a gay man, I have experienced prejudice, from the way people look at me (indirect) through to blatant verbal insults (direct). These I call attacks, regardless of them being direct and obvious, or indirect and submissive. In all senses, such treatment is wrong and degrading. No one has the right to make others feel as if they are of less worth and value, nor to feel less human than others. Indeed, what divine right do they have to do so? The answer is, there is none!

If you say you are Catholic, and that it is wrong to be gay and that we should not exist, then you should be ashamed of yourself. The Bible for instance teaches us that ‘thou should treat others as thou wish to be treated.’ It is this teaching that should be treated as the primary, and most important one. You may ask: why? The answer is simple; all the rest of the teachings stem from this, and are so interconnected to it, that they cannot be divorced, or treated separately from it. Nor can people say that I am acting out against the Catholic Community, as I am one, and if anyone says otherwise then they are wrong, even if the Pope said it! Tgis also applies to all religions for that matter. Believe what you believe, but don’t force it on others. Being gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered is not a disease, just like being Caucasian, Black and Asian, or mixed race is not. This needs to be accepted!

Why do LGBT rights matter, you may ask? The answer can be stated. this: because they do! We all need each other. We all need to learn from one another. We all need to accept that we are human and worthy of being treated equally and respected. No one in the 21st Century should be bullied, tortured or even killed due to their sexual orientation or sexual preference. This needs to be accepted and embraced!

The most important message to be taken from this can be put as follows, in one sentence: WE ALL MATTER, EACH AND EVERYONE OF US FOR WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND THEREFORE ALL SHOULD HAVE THEIR HUMAN RIGHTS UPHELD AND RESPECTED!

Dec 8 2011

‘HAVE BANKER’S REALLY LEARNT THEIR LESSON?’

The answer is simple, for the answer is NO! This conclusion I reached the other night whilst dining with my boyfriend at Byron Burger, Canary Wharf. Sat down, we started to tuck into our burgers, when a group of individuals took up a table to my immediate left. Over the course of the next 30 minutes or so, they began talking quite audibly, in such a manner I didn’t even have to strain my ears to pick up their conversation. They seemed to be talking very frankly.

At first it all started off innocently and without any eyebrow raising stuff, but this proved short lived. After talking about various IT packages, a comparison exercise of what they use in the USA and here in London, they digressed onto a alternate topic, which I had to bite my tongue on a number of occasions. Indeed, it would have been rude and imprudent of me to interject, after all I was sat off their table. The conversation went a little like this:

‘work is not going too badly in our department, it seems to have settled down a bit no’ one of them said. The proceeded to say that “people are stupid and naive”…”they don’t understand the situation we have to deal with.”
Then it continued “these people don’t understand, it’s all about smoozing up to politician and other interested parties…a bit of work here and there, followed by long lunches, a bit more work, before long dinners entertaining with booze and the such like.”

They made is all sound like a PR stunt. Something jovial, as opposed to serious stuff that it should be treating it. We are in financial world turmoil, people are losing their jobs for Christ sake. In my opinion it was evidence of ‘self-greed’ and one of painting over the cracks and not tackling the problems at hand, being more worried about the personal implications on their bonuses, than anything major. The issue to them seems to be one of headline profit lines, and how this reflects in their own pay packets. This needs to change.

Their attitude was arrogant, talking up how good they are and that the general public shouldn’t get involved when they know nothing. Yeah, but it is them facing the job losses and the pressures of family life, not them. They made it seem about when they can get their next Porsche, not about having to pay for life’s essentials. Finishing “they aren’t competent like us to deal with such issues.”. Well if they were so competent, how come we are in this position? As you can see, I had considerable difficulty biting my tongue.

So yes, I believe the rumour of government intending to bring greater transparency to top executive pay in the banking sector especially, should be welcomed. Nonetheless, I have my misgivings, and do not think in practice that it will change a darn thing. I feel it is going to be a short lived pipedream, and even if enacted, nothing really will change at all. Plus: (I) it’s not practical in the real world, plus (ii) it smacks in the face of the whole premise of any Conservative based government, who very much believe in the free market, and market self-correction, not to mention regulation.

I also think is this another PR stunt, another slight of hand, and new way of representation. Let’s take the Labour Party, who had the saying: ‘tough on crime and the causes of crime’. Did anything really change, or was it reclassification of offences, to make it look like thefts were decreasing by the way they were classified, along with other criminal acts? I am inclined to think it was a PR stunt and that nothing really changed. The question now is this a period of the Conservatives saying ‘tough on financial crisis, and the causes of financial world turmoil?’ Or as I would put it, the Archalese heel of this government, an issue that will never go away. Indeed, this would seem to be confirmed by the transfolding of the present EU talks about to commence concerning a change in the Treaty, and David Cameron wavering, and appearing to have his hands tied. This seems to be supported also in recent articles in the Financial Times.

So yes, bankers need a wake up call, and a big one soon, along it’s world leaders. We aren’t doing enough, and we are only at the tip of the iceberg. The honest answer, which I believe, is that no one knows what to do, it’s all a guessing game in this unprecedented time in history. Let’s hope that something productive and constructive will happen soon, god knows its very overdue.

Sep 5 2011

Being a tourist in London

What an interesting weekend it has been.  My father in London:  a delightful and enlightening weekend it was, with my step mother and her mother (so my step grandmother) coming here for the first time, with myself charged with the task of being the tour guide…after this weekend, this could always be an alternative occupation!

Saturday, I decided that as the weather was nice that I would fulfill their desires to see various places along the Thames, with my stepmother wanting to do the Thames Walk that she had come across.  As it became evident that she didn’t grasp how long the walk she was intending to make, I suggested taking the Thames Clipper along the river, all the way up to Greenwich.  So we did just that.

The weather was glorious, and I believe that my father really enjoyed the journey up the Thames on the boat.  Greenwich has never looked so nice to me, until that day. Beautiful blue skies, sun shining and the light cascaded well to show the true beauty of the former Navy Buildings, now occupied by Greenwich University.  We discovered the “Painted Room” which has been used for filming on occasions, and more commonly used for functions such as weddings and the like.  Indeed, the room is very imposing, and it is truly amazing at how the look for a palatial room has been achieved just with the creative hand of a paintbrush and paint.  It is definitely worth seeing, but for those of you that can’t pictures have been posted here.

After the look around the grand room, we made a short walk to Greenwich Market, just a hop skip and a jump away from the Painted Room.  My stepmother decided to buy Thai food from the market tucking into her bargain meal at £5.  It turned out she got more than she bargained for in more ways that one!  Needless to say, she enjoyed the food.

After the filling lunch, it was back to the river down to Tower Bridge.  A walk along the north embankment, photos were taken of the Tower of London (and seems that my step mothers history had fallen away from her), and then views of Tower Bridge (probably one of the most picturesque bridges along the Thames, although it has recently transpired to me that mistakes have been made in China, labeling it London Bridge…so I am making a correction here for those that may come across my site).  Then it was time to take a walk along Tower Bridge to the Southbank and then a slow walk.  It was then decided, that we would take the boat once again to Waterloo, from where my step mother could take photos of Big Ben (“hello I was saying… I’m right here!”, but it turned out she actually wanted a photo of the Houses of Parliament and not me!)

After the photo shoot (of at least 30 minutes, and the memory card on her camera depleted), it was off to for dinner along the Thames.  She settled upon one of the restaurants, its name escaping my memory at the moment.  I definitely needed a drink, so settled for several Corona’s.

Once dinner was finished, it was off to the north of the River and a walk up to the Houses of Parliament, at which point masses of police vans whizzed past in the direction of East London, in particular Whitechapel and Mile End.  Bus from there to the hotel, and that was Saturday done and dusted.

Sunday, was cultural day for them.  So decided to take them by tube this time to The British Museum, which is situated between Tottenham Court Road and Holborn Underground Stations.  Chinese ceramics being the must see for my stepmother and her mother, which was quite good and it gave me time to have a good chat with my father.  We were both particularly impressed with the roof that has been built at the museum, its very imposing and truly does bring a vast amount of light into the central space surrounding the buildings to the various exhibits.

After a quick sandwich and coffee at Starbucks, it was tube time again off to South Kensington to the Victoria & Albert Museum (V&A for short).  It is a lovely building, with a delightful central area to sit out by the fountain and have coffee and relax.  So I did just that, whilst they trotted around the various exhibits they wanted to see.  I have to admit I was rather impressed with the Japanese exhibits, and will be making another trip there myself soon.

Following from the V&A, we took bus 14 to China Town and had a truly scrumptious meal at Four Seasons.  It’s a great restaurant and in my opinion does the best crispy duck (shared by others too).  After getting stuffed to the houses, it was back to the hotel to say the good byes and wish them all the best for their next leg of their trip to Cambridge.

Aug 23 2011

Steve & Caroline’s Wedding

Well the weekend of 20th August marks a very significant day, not only for myself, but for Steve and Caroline, along with their family and dear friends. It is a day to remember, and a very joyous one to say the least, for it was the day that some of my most dearest friends got married.

The weather was a mixed bag. Waking up on the Saturday at my hotel based at the Albert Dock (Staybridge Suites – highly recommended), the weather was beautiful, the sky mediterranean blue, and just a happy feeling when sat having a coffee at Revolution, knowing that later that day Steve and Caroline were to marry. A more happy and suited couple one could not meet. They have found in themselves partners for life, that will be together sun, rain or shine. I am delighted for them, and can only hope that one day that My Prince will turn up and sweep me off my feet to (perhaps wishful thinking…but one can dream and hope.)

After having coffee, it was time to buy a wedding card, in which I visited John Lewis, at the new Liverpool One, which is a magnificent shopping area, and has truly led to the regeneration that Liverpool so very needed (my observations when studying there between 2004-2008.) Liverpool truly was well deserving when it was awarded the Capital of Culture. So congratulations once again. After picking up the card, I went to have another card, realising that I had to write the card. Now usually words come for me quite easily, but on this particular occasion I didn’t know what to say. Or at least, I didn’t know how to express myself fully, as these words I was about to write were to carry so much significance, and I wanted to get them right for their special day. So Steve, Caroline, I hope you liked the message that I enclosed.

Just as I was about to depart to West Kirby, taking the Merseyrail, the sky was starting to turn a greyish, then a very deep black colour, the weather was changing. Time for an umbrella, but at same time, hope I wasn’t Pre-empting a downpour from the heavens above. On the train, the weather on the other side of the River Mersey seemed to be a lot better. Arriving at St Bridget’s Church, West Kirby, I was greeted by Steve’s mother (the one that sussed that I was gay before I told anyone, Steve still raises this to this day).

The groom and then the bride arrived shortly afterwards, with the ceremony commencing at 2pm. Caroline truly did look stunning in her purple wedding dress (yes, not conventional, but this I something I have come to like so very much about her, her uniqueness, and her way, no everyone else’s way). Steve had a beaming smile on his face, his big day had arrived. The readings given by his brother (as best man), his mum and Caroline’s mum, carried so much significance, especially his brothers one about ‘Love’. Its times like these that you truly do realise what love is, and how power it is, and how lucky are those that have found it, a love that endures everything and anything, that comes without question, comes without doubt and is real, and come without envy and is accepting of all.

The ceremony was lovely, especially the chosen songs, one of my favourites being ‘All things bright an beautiful’. After the ceremony, the photographs were taken, before a short journey to the reception. The venue was tastefully decorated. I was seated with some of Steve’s friends from high school, and was lovely catching up with them and swapping notes. The food was lovely, having roast beef for my main. Followed by the speeches by the brides father, the best man and then finally with the groom himself. All fantastic.

After several drinks, dancing commenced on the dance floor. Haven’t properly danced for quite while, and as I commented to Steve, not since I was with my ex, Charlie. So it was quite a weird moment for me at first. But had fantastic time.

So my message now is aimed at Steve and Caroline: I am truly delighted that you invited me to share your very special day. I look up to you both, knowing what you have, and what you have achieved together. Through the student years and later in life, as we have progressed in our professional careers, I have come to value you both very dearly. May you have an eternity of happiness together as man and wife, and may all your hopes and wishes be fulfilled together. A more deserving couple there is not. So congratulations!

With my love

BENJAMIN